Please note that not every child will have the same needs, some may have under sensory developed areas while overly developed in others. However, based on the age of the child and the level of communication and mutual understanding, yes mutual, you will be able to identify what bothers your child and what helps your child and be able to provide your support in the areas he/she may need.
If you have a child who is still non-verbal whether is a baby, a child or even an adult, pay attention what causes distress/crying, if your child is verbal be willing to engage and ask if short concrete questions of what is bothering them. i.e is the music too loud?, do your ears hurt?, don’t ask what’s the matter? That is too general and you may cause more anxiety and confusion. Remember that just because something does not bother you it doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect their nervous system the same way as yours, as their sensitivity may be 1-10x + amplified
Keep track of when your child show signs of discomfort especially meltdowns, if you can’t remember everything, simply write it down and keep a log and find a common pattern, this usually helps. Possible triggers may be:
- Sudden loud sounds (fire alarms, hair dryers, vacuums, automatic kitty litter, blasting music, toys with music. If you can avoid them it will help them, but since you can’t avoid it everywhere and forever you will need to work with your child little by little to desensitize, I would suggest prepare your child, give them notice, provide ear protection to reduce the sound, avoid the sound in the beginning, talk to them about different sounds and what they are, why they happen, what causes them and when, provide some exposure until they can start tolerating, it may take weeks, months, years, but in the meantime at least they will be able to understand why they happen and how they can prepare for it and leave or avoid the environment or even explain to others to help them cope and manage the situation.
- Be conscious of the textures. In clothing, some fabrics that may seem ok to you may feel itchy needles to your child. If you see your child toe walking or not happy with certain surfaces, the Floor may feel too cold, hot, grainy, dirty, sand could feel like tiny itching insects, grass may feel dry, itchy, sharp and if wet it may feel slimy. Find textures that can provide comfort. You wouldn’t want to wear itchy cloth all day, right?
- Fluorescent lighting or any type of bright / flickering lights normally found in supermarkets, malls, deli could hurt the eyes of your child and cause discomfort. Think of it as the constant camera flash in your eyes, no one likes those, right? Have sunglasses for your child this should help their eyes.
- Be aware of scents (perfumes, food smells at restaurants/food courts) if you child starts acting out at home when you are cooking, it may be the food odor is overwhelming, you might want to try either opening a window to let the odor out, or move your child into another room so where the smell is not as strong, or simply if possible change up a bit the foods that may bother him. Their sense of smell may be strong, they may be able to tell if someone hasn’t washed their hair in a week, or shower in over a day.
When there is too much stimulation or sensory overload and this is not reduced it could cause extra anxiety and overstimulation that can build up to the point of causing a meltdown because is too much to handle. There are times when you won’t be able to always accommodate and some things you cannot change, you will need to choose your battles, your child won’t wear slacks for holiday pictures or family events, find plain black soft pants, they will still look nice, both you and your child are happy. Be patient and try to put yourself in their shoes and try to find balance for your child and everyone else in the environment whether is home or outside the home.
